I think I’m in a rut.

The past couple of weeks I’ve been noticing I’ve been going back to my “bad habits”. I think it’s the fact that I’m “supposed” to be having good ol’ Aunt Flo around and she has blew me off once again. The amount of sweets I have been craving and sadly succumbing to, is making me feel even worse. I don’t want to make excuses because really, it’s my own fault. Yes, it’s cold outside, but I have two perfectly working exercise equipments in my basement just staring at me saying, “Seriously? Get moving.” I also have DDR, Leslie Sansone videos, Zumba, and Jillian Michael’s DVDs down there as well. So… why am I so lazy? I just have no energy to do anything. I find myself on my drives to work saying, “You can do this… when you get home you’re going to get dressed and go downstairs and work your body.” It never happens though. The time I get home late at night, I figure that working out so late is not very good. So, I tell myself, “You’ll just wake up early and work out.” Well, I’m sure you can figure out what comes next… I make excuses of “I’m tired”, or “It’s too early”, or “I just want to cuddle with the dogs for a little while until I fully wake up”.

I need to get free from this rut. I need to start working out again. I need to start eating healthier again. I’m paying for weight watchers and I’m not even using it. How smart is that?! I need to veer back onto the road of weight loss. I know I’ve gained this couple of weeks. I can feel it when I’m just sitting there and can hear myself breathing. I’m sitting… not even moving… and then I feel so self conscious like everyone can hear me, so I try to hold my breath, which makes it 100x’s worse because then I feel like I’m gasping after awhile. I hate feeling like this.

To be quite honest, I’m actually proud of myself for coming out and admitting all of this. I’ve been so ashamed of myself, almost like I’ve been letting myself down… so if I didn’t acknowledge it, it really wouldn’t be an issue. Well, it is an issue and it needs to improve and change. I can’t continue to be stuck in this rut.

I’m going to get out. I need to get out.

Advertisements

17 thoughts on “I think I’m in a rut.

  1. C-La says:

    You can do it! I’ve been in a huge rut lately too and my losses have stalled completely. Ughhhhh…
    Sometimes doing what is right for ourselves is the hardest thing we can do. You’ve done the hard part by acknowledging…just hang in there. You can do it. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Dustin John says:

    Great job telling others and owning the choices your are making. I have been falling off too and I find myself feeling angry. That is a good thing thing- getting angry about it. It helps me get out of the procrastination and the inability to defer gratification. It seems like such a fight all the time. Like stretching out a rubber band and its constant tension, the harder you stretch it out. Don’t be too hard on yourself. If proper nutrition and exercise were easy, there would be no need for the words themselves. The words only exist because our impulses are not always correct…sugar tastes much better than broccoli! 🙂 You are doing great even with your slips. What is the deal with you Aunt? Was that a joke or did you really get stood up by her?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Aubrie says:

      I find myself getting angry at times too. It’s not fun getting angry at yourself, but sometimes it is motivating. This whole journey is tough, but I’m in it to win it! Thanks for the encouragement. 🙂 oh and no, not a real aunt just a figure of speech. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Worlds Biggest Fridge Magnet says:

    Well done for admitting the fact you have fallen off of the healthy bus. I know only too well how hard it is. I am awaiting my surgery next week and because of this have been on a liver cleanse diet for the past two weeks with 5 days left to go. I have it all to gain yet even with that knowledge, I have slipped a couple of times. But I have gotten back on the bus and not allowed catastrophic thinking to take hold. It is really very hard but for ever slip up, just reset yourself, and start again. If you eat unhealthily in the morning, make it your target to change that through the day. If you miss your “promised” fitness session in the morning then simply walk at lunchtime for as far as they time you have will allow. I guarantee after a couple of weeks (which will fly by) you will be feeling so much more energised, you will want to prioritise you exercise and food choices.
    You can do this!
    Come on!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Aubrie says:

      Way to go getting back on the bus. These small hurdles we face only help us to get stronger down the road. It was just yesterday that I tried to “eat healthier later on if I’ve eaten bad earlier” and it failed, miserably. Today is a brand new day though. I can’t change the past, but I can change how I live my life for the future. It’s nice that I have all of you on here to help me realize why I’m doing this. sometimes I feel like I can give up or doubt myself. So thanks for your encouragement and kind words. It truly means a lot! Oh and good luck with your surgery. It’s approaching pretty fast. It will be here and over soon. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Brittany says:

    Hey, healing starts with acceptance of one’s faults! You have done it before, so I know you can do it again 😀 Don’t let negative talk into your life, just think positive and about how you’re going to get healthy ^.^ Just start small and eventually work yourself back up to a good place.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. My Life in a Blog says:

    It’s awesome that you owned what’s happening. Too many people just whine, and never do. At least you know you’ve done it before, so you can again and this time you know what gets you back into the rut, so you can try to avoid it. Best of luck, and enjoy the progress. Don’t stress about the end result, enjoy every challenge you beat and it will keep you way more motivated.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. mmmbopnz says:

    I think writing is out helps, putting words to the feeling. I’ve had a terribly badly behaved last couple of days – just need to remember that the life change is permanent, as long as we keep coming back to the ‘new normal’ we are fine. Sidenote: omg laughing at the aunt thingy though thats so cute haha, she totally stood you up :[

    Liked by 1 person

  7. ambeerfancykicks says:

    At least you’re being honest with yourself. You caught your rut a hell of a lot sooner than I caught my first one. You can do it! Get yourself back on track and remember why you started this thing in the first place. 🙂

    Amber

    Like

  8. emmahoskins says:

    I’m right there with you! It’s like you were in my brain when you wrote this. I have the same excuses. I think we need to take some baby steps so that we don’t get overwhelmed. This is a long journey and we can do it!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s