Restart number 583,492,310.

Down an unknown road
To embrace my fate
Though that road may wander
It will lead me to you
And a thousand years
Would be worth the wait
It might take a lifetime
But somehow I’ll see it through
And I won’t look back
I can go the distance
And I’ll stay on track
No I won’t accept defeat
It’s an uphill slope
But I won’t lose hope
Till I go the distance
And my journey is complete.

Every time I hear this song, I just break down into tears. It’s an emotional song for me. As the title of this post is, I’m restarting… again. Losing weight is so difficult for me. I’m so tired of “starting over” but I need to keep picking myself up and not give up. Some days I wake up with the courage of this journey, while other days, I definitely feel defeated and feel like just throwing in the towel. So, when I hear this song I have both a motivating/depressing feeling. Motivating because I KNOW I can overcome this, but depressing because I keep letting myself down by feeling like giving up. Some days it truly does feel like it will “take a lifetime”, but what I need to keep telling myself is that “somehow I’ll see it through.”

Last night I was asked to be a bridesmaid for a friend I’ve known practically my whole life. The first thing I really thought about after getting asked was… I will not look like this next year for her wedding.

So right here and right now, I’m making a promise to myself, that I will keep going on this journey of mine, even if I stumble and fall off, even if it takes me a lifetime, I will never give up on myself. “No I won’t accept defeat. It’s an uphill slope, but I won’t lose hope till I go the distance and my journey is complete.”

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