Inspiration. It can be found in all forms out in the world. It’s in the wind blowing through the trees, in the sun shining through the leaves. Seeing the smiles on strangers faces, and traveling to new and exciting places. (Holy cow what’s happening here?! Why am I rhyming?)
I wanted to write a blog post for the past week but haven’t really had the time to just sit and type. Well, I have a few moments now, while my Fitbit charges…
This past week, I found myself thinking about the past a lot. Thinking about how if I had a chance to go back, what I would do differently, not do, and stuff I would leave the same. The more I thought about it, I started feeling more “regret” than anything. Not for the stuff I did necessarily… but for the stuff I didn’t do. Like, not staying in sports in high school. I was hugely into sports throughout my middle school days. Once, I started high school though, I let my weight dictate my feelings towards sports. I never went out for volleyball because I didn’t think I’d even make the team. Another sport I loved – fastpitch. After getting down on myself my freshman year, I actually did take a step out of my comfort zone and played that sport. Remembering even then, I still let my weight dictate that as well. Yes, I played, but I feel like I didn’t give it 110% because I always had the thought of “You’ll never be good enough because you’re the biggest one on the team.” I didn’t trust in myself, and for that, I quit after my freshman year.
Another big moment was not continuing on with working out at the gym. There was a point in my high school days, when I started really caring about my weight and image. I joined a local gym with friends, and I went often. Now, skip forward to a few years after I graduated and I saw the guy who worked there (and I think maybe owned it), at the grocery store. I remember him looking at me up and down and then saying, “We miss you at the gym, you should come back!” I know he wasn’t saying it snotty or mean, but I can remember the hurt I felt after hearing him say that to me.
The thing though… after I thought of these few instances, I was filled with peace. How? How could I one minute be filled with such a regretful feeling and then be washed over with the peace of knowing “it is what it is“? Because I realized you can’t dwell on the past. Things will happen, and in most cases, won’t happen in life, but you can’t sit and dwell on those times. So you ate three cosmic brownies. Learn from your mistake and move on. Don’t sit and beat yourself down to nothing. Where does it get you? It makes you feel down and honestly makes you feel like eating more cosmic brownies!
Another thing I want to say… Don’t do what I did and let your weight dictate how you live your life. Don’t miss out on things in your life just because of the way you look or think you look. I think I will always be working on this, but hey, we can work on it together!
Stay fabulous my friends!