What do I want?
What DO I want?
I have asked that question to myself all afternoon.
I still don’t know the answer to the question, entirely.
After catching up with a friend during some coffee at a coffee shop a couple towns over, my drive home consisted of me thinking about my life so far and how I want I want to change in it for the future.
I thought about my friends. The ones I’ve lost, the ones I’ve gained, and the ones who’ve stayed. I think back to how I was in high school. I was the kid who got along with mostly everyone, but only had a handful of friends I ever did anything with. It’s sad to think about how unsocial I have become.
I rarely go out.
I never meet new people.
My goal for the future: Venture out into the world. Meet new people. I don’t really know how I’m going to do this quite yet… but I’m sure I can think about it more.
HAH! What relationships? I’ve been on maybe two lousy dates since graduating high school and college. For the longest time, I told myself that the reason I’m still single is because I’m not pretty or thin enough. Well, you know what, there are people out there who are gorgeous and fit who are single. Honestly, I think it’s because I’m giving off a vibe… the vibe of, I’m not comfortable in my own skin. I have the self confidence of a goldfish.. How can I expect for someone else to be into me, if I don’t even like myself?
My goal for the future: Love myself for who I am. I want to be able to walk and stand proud. I want to be proud of who I am and what I’m about.
I absolutely love being a nanny! Is it something I can really do my whole life though? That’s what I’m worried about. What’s going to happen when the kids I nanny for now grow up and no longer need me, or I just am no longer needed because of daycare and school. There’s no where for me to go, but back to square one.
My goal for the future: I need to think about what “I want to be when I grow up“. Frankly, if you asked me that right now, my answer would be “I have no clue.”
When I was asked what I want out of this my answer automatically said,
To be healthy and fit.
If you would have asked me this question when I started working out in high school, my answer would have been that I wanted to be like all the hot women in magazines; Stick thin and beautiful.
My goal for the future: I want to keep the want to be healthy and fit. I think this is my easiest goal right now! 🙂 I want to continue to use weight watchers and not give up.
So this is where I’m at currently. I’m going to keep going with what I’m doing. I need to move on from who I was last year, even from who I was in High School. That was a different me.
I can’t wait to become the person I envision for myself.