Less than 24 hours stands in between 2015 and 2016. I was asked on Instagram what I learned this year. This year really has been one in the record books. There were some firsts – first date, first day at a new job… things I’m leaving behind – being a nanny, friendships… When I look back at this year in a whole, I’m proud that I’m still here standing tall. So many things happened this year emotionally and physically that if I hadn’t been strong enough to overcome, I don’t know exactly where I would have ended up. I’m still here though, and I’m still fighting. Listed below are the “3 Things 2015 Taught Me”:
- I need to lose weight for me and not so people will like me. When I first started this journey, I started because I was 24, single, and unhappy. I thought that the only way a guy would like me was if I was skinny and pretty. I started the year off by thinking I wasn’t good enough for anyone. It took me the whole year to realize… Fuck those guys who only care about the outside and not about what truly matters… The inside. I’m losing weight and getting healthy for ME. No one else. It’s such a huge relief to finally not fully care what people think. I mean, I can go to the gym with my head held high and see those “hot guys” there and not feel intimidated. (Well sometimes I do just a little but it’s only because they are extremely good looking… I am a girl after all!)
- I don’t have to be afraid of what people think or say if I stumble on this journey. Most importantly, I don’t have to be disappointed in myself if and when I stumble. When I started, I felt so guilty if I ever slipped up because “what are people going to think?” Or “why did I allow myself to do this?”I’ve said it once and I will continue to say it… I didn’t get this size over night. It’s gonna take a lot of effort and time. I’ve learned that, shit, I’ve fallen on my ass so many times and yet I STILL get up and continue on. I’ve seen so many people try their hardest and end up giving up. I will never give up.
- There are so many other wonderful people out there going and feeling the exact same thing(s) as me! I’m so thankful each every day for my awesome and newfound family on Instagram and the blogs. Like I said in a previous post, I don’t know what I’d do without all of you. I’ve learned to open up and not be afraid of what I’m going through and dealing with. Posting my weight… that was a huge thing to overcome. I was always afraid of, “These people are going to see my weight… what if I know someone that see’s this?” That all went out the window after talking and getting to know everyone. We don’t need to feel ashamed or embarrassed. I saw a post on Instagram that said, “You are not fat. You have fat. You also have fingernails but you are not fingernails.” What an awesome message.
what a year. I’m ready to move on to 2016. I’m ready for a new year full of firsts. I’m ready for a fresh start. I’m ready for a brand new chapter.
I have a few little updates since I wrote yesterday…
- So this happened…
5 miles… whoa! If that’s not an accomplishment, I don’t know what is!
- I FINALLY finished Moby Dick!!!!!!
- I started and finished Freaky Friday, and then I started Who Moved My Cheese today and finished that as well! (If you haven’t ready Who Moved My Cheese yet… Oh you must! It’s a WONDERFUL read! It talks about the fear of change, and how some people react. It also talks about stepping out of your comfort zone in order for change to happen. Seriously… it’s such a good book!!!)
Well friends, I think that’s it really… for now.
Thanks to all of you who are still sticking by me.
Until next time…