Happy Anniversary!

So I just happened to click on wordpress instead of my online college course in the drop down menu and it brought me to the realization that today marks my two year anniversary of having a blog.


Has it really been two years already?! How has the time moved by that fast? Thirdly, how have I fallen that much off the wagon in the two years since I started?!

I look back every now and again as to what knowledge and advice I posted back then and man… I was in such a better place (health wise) than I am now. In that same breath though… I’m in a WAY better place emotionally and mentally though! So hey, I guess we can mark that as a success right?

Today was my last day of class for a month – Christmas Break!

I still can’t believe I’m FINALLY back in college. It’s all still somewhat of a dream. I checked my classes and I have an A in every one… INCLUDING Math. MATH. THATS RIGHT. MATH! I kind of want to send my old math teacher a Facebook message saying… not sure if you remember me, but I’m back in college and I actually did good in math class. I also kind of want to apologize for not taking it as seriously as I should have in high school. I worked my tail end off in this math class this semester. I really don’t think I’ve ever worked that hard… The last two Sunday’s I’ve spent over 14 hours working on Math. I’m just glad I have an A to show for it now!

Alright, well I think this concludes this posting for the night. My mind has been nothing much absolute mush today… I’m quite surprised I was even able to type this all out! I see a nice long and relaxed break in my future. (well as much as one can have… I still have to go to work full time 🙂 )

Until next time,



Poison & Wine.

Hello, it’s been a long time.

Quite a long time indeed.

Where did I even leave the last post at? I can’t even remember… isn’t that sad?

Is anyone even out there any more? I wouldn’t be surprised if there isn’t. This is a posting for me anyways.

The main reason I’ve been away is…

I started college.

I actually went back.

After many, many years of hoping, dreaming and praying, I finally went back.

It’s been almost two months into the first semester and I have to tell myself each and every day that I can do it.

I don’t let on to people that I have these thoughts, but I do.

For the longest time I told myself I could do it, and now that I am, I’m afraid of failing.

There’s days, and most at that, I feel like just throwing in the towel. Just giving up.

But I don’t.

and I won’t.

I picture my grandparents with me, and I imagine they’re here with me every day. Every day telling me I can do this.

I’ve always wanted this and I need to keep going.

Keep at this.

Even when it’s hard and I want to give up.

Have you ever found yourself in my shoes?

I’m sure you have.

Everyone has rough days.

Everyone has days where they feel like giving up and throwing in the towel.

The thing is… We can’t ever give up though.

We can’t ever think we’re not enough.

We can’t ever think that we won’t succeed.

We can’t ever give in to our inner demons that scream at us to just give up.

Every day is a new day.

A new day to continue on.

A new day to make our dreams come true.

Yippy Skippy!

First off, I got the next badge on Fitbit! The 10lbs lost badge! What’s even better is that I’ve lost more than 10… I’ve hit -12! I started looking back at my weight graph on the weight watchers app, and I saw how that little line went up and down up and down all through the past couple of years. The thought of “man you need to step it up” never came to mind. Instead, the thought of “look at you! All of this and you still never give up,” was the first thing that popped in there.

Next thing I want to talk about was my night a couple nights ago. I decided to try on a shirt that Sarah got. It was definitely too big for her, so I thought hey, why not try it on. It was, however, no normal shirt. It was that spandex material that sucks it all in and makes you feel like a sausage. I never looked into a mirror, but I knew it wasn’t at all attractive. I walked out and asked how it looked. I could tell that she was just trying to be nice about it. I mean, she didn’t want to hurt my feelings by saying the wrong thing. My mom however said something that still is sticking with me today. It’s not the exact wording, it’s just the meaning behind it. “It’s too late for me to change my size, you’re still young at least.” It makes me sad that she, and quite frankly, a lot of people feel that way. You’re never too old to live a healthier life. There’s always time to make better choices with your body, mind, and soul. Yes, it does get harder as you grow up, but there’s never a point where you should just stop and not care anymore.

I remember when I made my first post. I remember looking through other blogs thinking, “man these people are doing so well! And look how much they’re losing… And it’s so fast! I bet I’m going to be just like that!” Losing weight and living a healthy lifestyle aren’t always happy. There’s tough roads, hard decisions, and honestly quite a few bad days. Days when all you want to do is lay in bed all day with a tub of ice cream because your day sucked. Days where all of your friends are going out to have a fun time, but you need to stay in because you don’t want to be tempted by food all night. I also learned that there’s no set time to lose all the weight. I’ve heard countless of times from blogs, doctors, and friends that the faster you lose, the faster and more you gain back. A friend of mine posted on Instagram a while back that she was going to continue to work on losing weight, but not letting weight loss define how she was going to live her life. It wasn’t until recently that I finally understood what she meant. We can’t go through life saying no to fun and exciting experiences! We only have one life to live. What’s the point in living if we have all of these rules and limits. Now, I’m not saying go out and eat junk food every night because you want to live and be happy. In the long run, I strongly doubt you will be happy. What I am saying is, if you get invited out with friends or family, don’t say no because there may be a possibility of straying off course. Go and have fun with your friends. Make good choices the week and day of until you get to where ever it is you’re going. Don’t limit your life to one way. I promise you’ll be more happy when you loosen the reins and enjoy life in its entirety.
Until next time,