Yippy Skippy!


First off, I got the next badge on Fitbit! The 10lbs lost badge! What’s even better is that I’ve lost more than 10… I’ve hit -12! I started looking back at my weight graph on the weight watchers app, and I saw how that little line went up and down up and down all through the past couple of years. The thought of “man you need to step it up” never came to mind. Instead, the thought of “look at you! All of this and you still never give up,” was the first thing that popped in there.

Next thing I want to talk about was my night a couple nights ago. I decided to try on a shirt that Sarah got. It was definitely too big for her, so I thought hey, why not try it on. It was, however, no normal shirt. It was that spandex material that sucks it all in and makes you feel like a sausage. I never looked into a mirror, but I knew it wasn’t at all attractive. I walked out and asked how it looked. I could tell that she was just trying to be nice about it. I mean, she didn’t want to hurt my feelings by saying the wrong thing. My mom however said something that still is sticking with me today. It’s not the exact wording, it’s just the meaning behind it. “It’s too late for me to change my size, you’re still young at least.” It makes me sad that she, and quite frankly, a lot of people feel that way. You’re never too old to live a healthier life. There’s always time to make better choices with your body, mind, and soul. Yes, it does get harder as you grow up, but there’s never a point where you should just stop and not care anymore.

I remember when I made my first post. I remember looking through other blogs thinking, “man these people are doing so well! And look how much they’re losing… And it’s so fast! I bet I’m going to be just like that!” Losing weight and living a healthy lifestyle aren’t always happy. There’s tough roads, hard decisions, and honestly quite a few bad days. Days when all you want to do is lay in bed all day with a tub of ice cream because your day sucked. Days where all of your friends are going out to have a fun time, but you need to stay in because you don’t want to be tempted by food all night. I also learned that there’s no set time to lose all the weight. I’ve heard countless of times from blogs, doctors, and friends that the faster you lose, the faster and more you gain back. A friend of mine posted on Instagram a while back that she was going to continue to work on losing weight, but not letting weight loss define how she was going to live her life. It wasn’t until recently that I finally understood what she meant. We can’t go through life saying no to fun and exciting experiences! We only have one life to live. What’s the point in living if we have all of these rules and limits. Now, I’m not saying go out and eat junk food every night because you want to live and be happy. In the long run, I strongly doubt you will be happy. What I am saying is, if you get invited out with friends or family, don’t say no because there may be a possibility of straying off course. Go and have fun with your friends. Make good choices the week and day of until you get to where ever it is you’re going. Don’t limit your life to one way. I promise you’ll be more happy when you loosen the reins and enjoy life in its entirety.
Until next time,

Aubrie

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Fly.

I am obsessed with Maddie & Tae and their cd, Start Here. This cd is always the first that’s played whenever I listen to music on my phone. If you haven’t heard of it… check it out! I especially can’t get enough of their song, Fly.

So keep on climbing, though the ground might shake
Just keep on reaching though the limb might break
We’ve come this far, don’t you be scared now
‘Cause you can learn to fly on the way down

 Such true and meaningful words. Even when things are rocky and seem like you won’t be able to overcome the obstacles that get thrown in your direction, you have to just keep going. Keep on climbing.

I was listening to this song this morning while I was looking back at my previous blog posts. The post that drew my attention in was the one with the resolutions. (Haha pulled a Friends there… did you catch it?)

  1. Be happy with who I am and in my own skin. Yeah nope, still haven’t gotten to that point yet.
  2. Smile and laugh more. On the fence with this…
  3. Slow down and not be in such a rush all the time. Well I’ve definitely slowed down…
  4. Be a better helper around my house. Semi better. Room though – not so much. I’m a teenager living in an adults body.
  5. Write more on my blog.:) WELL THAT’S AN EPIC FAIL!

The year is almost to the halfway mark, and I have really only accomplished one of these!? How?! Let’s talk about this now…

  • Be happy with who I am and in my own skin.

There were points so far in the year, where I was feeling so great about myself. The thing is, once something goes bad, I just shut down. Lately, I’ve been having feeling that whole “I’m gonna keep one foot in and one foot out, because I know the other shoe will drop.” I need to really work on not shutting down. Take for instance when I got hurt. Did I say, “okay, this is just a minor set back… I can continue to do other workouts and still eat healthy!” Nope. I got depressed and totally had that “well fuck everything then” kinda attitude. Is that the way to go about being happy with who I am? Not in the slightest. I’m seeing this all now in a whole new light. Things won’t go my way. Shit will happen. It’s the way of the world. I can’t let it bring me down to where I’m shutting everything down, especially work that I’ve worked so hard on. I’ve taken steps to make my life more happy… I did finally apply to college! That’s something!

  • Smile and laugh more.

Hmm. Like I said, I’m on the fence with this. The most part, however, I’ve been very happy! So I’ll take that as a win.

  • Slow down and not be in such a rush all the time.

Oh boy, this is the only one on the list that I feel I’ve accomplished and then some. I started the year off strong, and then it just all went down hill. When I was a nanny, I was constantly busy with the kids, driving to and from work, working out, babysitting… Now though, I’ve done a 180. I go to work, come home, go for a walk or go to the gym, sleep, repeat. See, definitely have slowed down.

  • Be a better helper around my house.

Well well well… we’ve come to this bullet. I feel I’ve gotten slightly better… not a whole hell of a lot, but slightly! Seriously though, as I’ve said earlier… I’m a messy teen living in an adult body. People who know me though… I’ve always been messy.

  • Write more on my blog.

Seriously, out of everything on the list… this is the only one that I have totally failed at. I really can’t believe how bad I am at getting on here. I enjoy typing out what I’m feeling… A lot of these days consist of like I said earlier… nothing. I feel like nothing exciting really goes on in my life anymore. Sad huh? I need some excitement people!


 

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday… A day of rest was anything but. I spent the morning cleaning my tornado of a room. It’s mind blowing how messy and disorganized I can let it get. It’s a lot cleaner now thank heavens, but I have a pile of laundry just glaring at me to pick up and wash. Maybe it’ll actually happen once I finish this…

**Edit: Yep, I’ve come to the realization that it will have to get done in the morning. **

I decided I HAD to get outside today, so I started it off by grilling chicken, hamburgers, turkey dogs, fingerling potato wedges, and asparagus. It was fabulous. Enjoyed the sunshine and 78° weather. I then helped my mom with all the outside “spring cleaning” stuff that needed to be done. I got quite a few steps in doing all of the stuff she wanted done.  While we were out there, I took multiple trips over to our neighbor’s yard so I could smell those tree blossoms that come every spring. I can’t get enough of these blossoms… they are so beautiful and fragrant!

Once we were all done outside, I couldn’t just go inside and sit on the couch… So I went back out for a walk!! I laced up my new shoes and hit the pavement!

All in all today was all around great. I’m very happy. Oh something else that I am ECSTATIC about… LOOK AT THESE STEPS!!!! My Achilles ached practically the whole time, but I need to walk!

I haven't had this many steps in over two months. It feels so good. 🙂

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I wanna say this concludes my post for the night. It’s pretty close to it being tomorrow already and I should hit the hay… I’ve got some exciting plans tomorrow… I shall let you know later what it is! 🙂

Until next time,
Aubrie

Happiness Starts Within.

Hello my friends.

Wow, it has been awhile again. I’m not going to make promises to be on here to write anymore because, sadly I just end up breaking my word. Plus, maybe if I don’t say I’ll be on maybe then I actually will end up coming on to write and keep up with everyone.

So what all has been going on since the last time I was on? Well…

  • I applied for college
  • I did in fact injured my Achilles and have been going to Physical Therapy because it is STILL not feeling any better…
  • I’ve been to the gym ONCE since February.
  • I got my bridesmaid dress for the August wedding I’m in… and it’s already a little big!

You read right… I decided to pursue those dreams I’ve always had and I’ve applied to the local college for a degree in Childhood Development! Eek! I’m still super shocked that I applied. I’m just now having to get to my old high school to get my transcript, and then I need to mail in my college transcript as well. I should probably get to doing that… I’m super excited!

The last time I wrote, I mentioned that I went to the doctor and she thought that I hurt my Achilles. Well, after it had hurt for another week, I called her back and she said that it was time to go to the next level; Physical Therapy. I’ve been going to PT for… 5 weeks now… We’ve discovered that it’s not only my Achilles that is giving me pain… it’s my lower back, sciatic nerve AND my knee as well! I’ve been a trooper this whole time. I’ve put up with the pain and didn’t say much of anything. Well, until this last time. My PT guy and I were having a conversation about something, and he had happened to just barely move my leg to the side, but for some reason, holy hannah did it hurt. It was like a light switch got flicked and BAM! the tears started flowing! Oh did it hurt. Must have been something because then my hamstring locked up and my leg wouldn’t release. Oh this body of mine. It’s going down the crapper! 😛 It’s the old age I tell ya! I’ll get there though, that much I know. Why? Because I’m a fighter and I’ll get past this!

I never ended up going to the gym after my doctor said I could. I didn’t want to make anything worse, so I just stayed home and continued to eat crap. I was going through a very depressive period because of work, not going to the gym, always hurting, and then I had zero energy to eat right. So after I bathed in self pity for a while, I decided that all the bs was getting me no where. I decided to create a DietBet and would have it start April 1. I also decided I NEEDED to get back to the gym, so I got my hind end up at 4:30am and got to the gym by 5am. All I wanted to do was get on the treadmill for at least 30 minutes. I wanted to start off slow, so I only had the treadmill speed on 1.8/1.9. That’s pretty slow for me. I didn’t sweat or breathe hard, but I wanted to at least be on the treadmill and at least BE at the gym.

Hey, I'm happy! Not my best, but I'll take it for a first day back. 😄👍🏼

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The whole time I was on there though, my whole foot felt tingly and started to ache towards the end of 30 minutes. I came home, and did the RICE method. I fell asleep and slept for a couple hours before I had to get up for work. Woke up and holy crap was that thing swollen! It ended up killing the whole rest of the day. Bummer dude. So I haven’t gone back to the gym since then. BUT!!! I did go on an hour long walk last night… and boy was that ever needed. It’s been the first actual spring feeling day here in MN, and boy was the fresh air and sun needed to boost up my spirits!!

#hellominnesotaspring #fitfam #eveningwalk

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Last topic…

The bridesmaid dress!!!! When I first tried on the dress in the store, I had tried on a 24. I remember it just BARELY fitting. I had to unzip it and remember just feeling, “Ughhhh I don’t want someone to have to zip this and see all my back fat…” I also remember saying to my bestie, “Eh I can totally just buy a 22 and it would work.” Well, then winter happened and I wasn’t losing any weight. So I decided last week when I finally ordered the dress to just be on the safe side and order the 24. I got it on Tuesday and boy oh boy was I shocked! First off, I could put it on over my head WITHOUT having to unzip it!!! It was actually a little big as well! Man on man, seriously, I’m super happy about it! I weighed in that day as well, and I actually have lost at least 3.3 lbs since april 1. Can I get a whoohoo!!! That is honestly just eating right! I’m happy with how things are starting to go… Gotta look to the future.

Maybe there's not THAT much of a difference, but I see a little bit!! 🙂 #fitfam #throwbackthursday

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Busy Busy Busy.

Hello!

I’ve been extremely swamped the past week, so that’s why I haven’t been on here to talk. So, why have I been swamped you ask? Well here let me explain…

So my last post was last Tuesday, and I left you with me telling you about my boring day and a stomachache. I went home and slept it off and by the next morning, I was back to normal! This isn’t the first time I’ve had a stomachache like that, and I think the root cause is when I eat only vegetables for a meal or I eat the vegetables first. I had brought chicken and then an eggplant, zucchini, onion saute mixture, and I had eaten the veggie stir fry first. After I got my gallbladder removed a few years ago, I’ve noticed that veggies don’t breakdown as well as they once did. I end up getting an acidic sour feeling in my stomach, and then it all goes down hill from there. If I eat something before my vegetables though, I don’t have this problem. It only occurs when I only eat vegetables or eat them at the beginning of my meal. You learn something new every day!


Wednesday

I went to work and did the same old, same old. We still don’t have any other stylists yet, so it was just me selling the product. If I remember correctly… that was the day I didn’t sell a thing to anyone. Oh so boring.

 

I went to the gym after work, and it was beyond busy. When I first waked in, all the treadmills were taken. I was bummed because the whole day, I was psyching myself up to complete Day 3 of Couch to 5K. I went to the bathroom with the plan to just go on the elliptical until a treadmill became available. It was like I walked out into another dimension though when I got out of the bathroom, because the people had all vanished. All but one treadmill was available. So I hurried up and grabbed my Beats and my phone and made my way to the treadmill. I got on and started walking. As I started to go a little faster, two people got on the treadmills on either side. I’m still extremely new with running at the gym. I still feel so self conscious about what I may look like, so I was really thinking about just not doing it. Then that little voice inside me, that I used to just ignore, started really yelling at me. Why am I caring what other people think? Do their opinions of me really matter? NO! So I turned on my favorite playlist and I started up the C25K app.

I'm slacking tonight it's not ending!

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After taking a couple days off from running at the gym, it honestly felt like I was never going to finish that workout. I was getting tired, my body was hurting, and I was so close to giving up. I started thinking about that little voice some more though. The more I thought about her, she started getting louder and louder. “You can do it. Don’t give up now. You are doing so well. Just keep going…” So I continued to push on.

People I'm dying. But all 268lbs of me is gonna finish running day 3 damn it. #fitfam #icandothis

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Finally, I could see the end was near. I couldn’t breathe, and my body at this point was killing me. Did I give up? Did I give in to that thought in my mind that kept whispering, “Just stop. You did enough. Why continue on and be uncomfortable? You could stop now and you would be able to breathe…” No, I tuned that voice out by turning up my music…

HOLY CRAP! I did it! #perserverance #dontgiveup #wecandoit #fitfam #w1d3 #c25k #weightwatchers #ificanrunyoucanrun

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…and look what I did. I finished Day 3.


Thursday

I finished the first book of 2016!

Oh man, was this ever a great book. There were times during this book that I had to physically stop reading because it was making me depressed just by reading what the character was dealing with. I’ve been in dark places like Esther has, so it was hard reading different parts of this. Am I glad though that I actually read the book finally and finished it? You betcha! I think everyone should be required to read it. So, if you haven’t, please go to your local library and find it! It will change your life; even if it’s a small change.

The library in my town is open quite late on Thursdays, so I decided I would just go there after work to get more books and return the four I checked out before.

The beautiful @building.my.confidence tagged me for #widn 👍🏼 got back from the library! Yaaaaay!! New books!

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I had planned to go to the gym after the library, but while I was looking for books at the library, I ended up having a Vertigo episode, that got the best of me. I can always tell when I’m about to have one, so I pretty much grabbed the first books I could find from The Rory Gilmore Reading Challenge, and got out of there. I don’t know if I just moved my head the wrong way, or if I got up to fast from bending over, but all of a sudden I got extremely hot, a wave of nausea washed over me, and I thought I would pass out in the Fiction section. I tried to just take it easy once I got home, but the feelings just wouldn’t pass, so I ended up going to bed before 9:30.


Friday

I felt so much better the next morning (Thank God!!!). I got to work, and since I didn’t have much to do, I started reading The Joy Luck Club. This book has had my attention from the first page. I was already halfway done with the book by the time I left work.


Saturday

What an extremely busy day!!! I helped Sarah get ready for her first high school dance, by doing her hair and makeup. It was so fun getting to help and spending time with her. As a lot of you know, I don’t have any siblings, so she’s the closest thing I have to a sister.

Sarah (left) and her friends from Snoball! So so pretty!!!

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It was very bitter sweet seeing her with her date and taking all their pictures. She’s growing up so fast and seeing her grow up, makes me realize that I, too, am growing up. I can see now why parents always get emotional at times like these. Granted I’m not a parent yet, but if I can get emotional seeing her grow up, I can’t imagine what I’ll be like if I ever do have children.

After I got done taking all their pictures, I went over to my best friends house to have game night! We ate and had a merry time. I brought over Cards Against Humanity and we played and drank (I drank water while they drank alcohol. I’m still paranoid I will feel like crap after drinking because of it mixing with the meds I take).


 

Sunday

What did I do yesterday? Man, it’s kind of seeming like a blur… oh yes, I remember now! Gym and I went to the lake to bring groceries out to my aunt who needed them! “The beast” (furnace) went out and so she couldn’t leave the house. After all was said and done, I went back home, and took a little nap, and then watched The Golden Globes.

It was a glorious Sunday!


That brings me to today…

I have done absolutely nothing today. I slept in the chair with Mozzie all morning. I really couldn’t do much of anything because our water heater went out so the men were installing a new one in the basement. After they left, my dad treated me to Perkins for brunch. Really… that’s all that has happened so far. I may be going shopping later with my mom and then I’ll head on to the gym at some point as well. Just enjoying the last day off of my three day weekend.


 

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend!

Until next time…

Aubrie

 

 

 

 

 

Let the countdown begin…

Less than 24 hours stands in between 2015 and 2016. I was asked on Instagram what I learned this year. This year really has been one in the record books. There were some firsts – first date, first day at a new job…  things I’m leaving behind – being a nanny, friendships… When I look back at this year in a whole, I’m proud that I’m still here standing tall. So many things happened this year emotionally and physically that if I hadn’t been strong enough to overcome, I don’t know exactly where I would have ended up. I’m still here though, and I’m still fighting. Listed below are the “3 Things 2015 Taught Me”:

  1. I need to lose weight for me and not so people will like me. When I first started this journey, I started because I was 24, single, and unhappy. I thought that the only way a guy would like me was if I was skinny and pretty. I started the year off by thinking I wasn’t good enough for anyone. It took me the whole year to realize… Fuck those guys who only care about the outside and not about what truly matters… The inside. I’m losing weight and getting healthy for ME. No one else. It’s such a huge relief to finally not fully care what people think. I mean, I can go to the gym with my head held high and see those “hot guys” there and not feel intimidated. (Well sometimes I do just a little but it’s only because they are extremely good looking… I am a girl after all!)

  2. I don’t have to be afraid of what people think or say if I stumble on this journey. Most importantly, I don’t have to be disappointed in myself if and when I stumble. When I started, I felt so guilty if I ever slipped up because “what are people going to think?” Or “why did I allow myself to do this?”I’ve said it once and I will continue to say it… I didn’t get this size over night. It’s gonna take a lot of effort and time. I’ve learned that, shit, I’ve fallen on my ass so many times and yet I STILL get up and continue on. I’ve seen so many people try their hardest and end up giving up. I will never give up.
  3.  There are so many other wonderful people out there going and feeling the exact same thing(s) as me! I’m so thankful each every day for my awesome and newfound family on Instagram and the blogs. Like I said in a previous post, I don’t know what I’d do without all of you. I’ve learned to open up and not be afraid of what I’m going through and dealing with. Posting my weight… that was a huge thing to overcome. I was always afraid of, “These people are going to see my weight… what if I know someone that see’s this?” That all went out the window after talking and getting to know everyone. We don’t need to feel ashamed or embarrassed. I saw a post on Instagram that said, “You are not fat. You have fat. You also have fingernails but you are not fingernails.” What an awesome message. 

2015

what a year. I’m ready to move on to 2016. I’m ready for a new year full of firsts. I’m ready for a fresh start. I’m ready for a brand new chapter.


 

I have a few little updates since I wrote yesterday…

  • So this happened…

Oh my body. So I went to the gym thinking, "I'm just going to start watching Coyote Ugly since Netflix is stupidly getting rid of it in January." Well… That turned into me watching the whole damn movie because I a.) love it so much and b.) I might as well actually DO something than just sit on my butt and watch it. My legs feel like jello right now though! I am definitely going to sleep oh so well tonight!!! I also listened to 20 minutes or so of one of my favorite playlists on the RockMyRun app. LOVE this playlist!!! It's so damn good! If you have the app… Totally take a listen. If you don't have the app… Get this app! It's FREE!!! #fitfam #fitness #gymtherapy #gymtime #weightwatchers #imbeat #keepmoving #treadmill #walking #coyoteugly #rockmyrun #gymstats #GoalDigger #fitgirls #wwfattitude #wwfam #cantgiveup #cantstopwontstop

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5 miles… whoa! If that’s not an accomplishment, I don’t know what is!

  • I FINALLY finished Moby Dick!!!!!!
  • I started and finished Freaky Friday, and then I started Who Moved My Cheese today and finished that as well! (If you haven’t ready Who Moved My Cheese yet… Oh you must! It’s a WONDERFUL read! It talks about the fear of change, and how some people react. It also talks about stepping out of your comfort zone in order for change to happen. Seriously… it’s such a good book!!!)

 

Well friends, I think that’s it really… for now.

Thanks to all of you who are still sticking by me.

Until next time…

Aubrie

 

I’m back… well hopefully that is.

I only had two blog posts in September, say what!? I can’t believe it was only two… Then again I kinda can. :/

I sadly have not had anything to really write or talk about lately. I’m stuck in a really dark rut. I was, for a while, eating extremely poorly and not getting more than 5k steps a day.  I wish I could go into full disclosure about what is putting me in this sad feeling place, but sadly I can’t.

I know for sure that I’ve posted on the topic of “wishing my life was different”. A lot of days recently I wished just that again. It’s a sad place to be in when you would rather be anything or anyone else.

Life is hard. You’re going to run into obstacles. There will be bumps in the road that sometimes feel like mountains. You will fall flat on your ass and sometimes may be trampled by the hooves of life. it won’t keep you down. You will get back up and dust yourself off. You are strong. You won’t give up. You can’t give up. You just have to deal with it and move past it.

Man, if I can come up with that… why can’t I actually use that for myself? It’s definitely easier to tell someone else this and motivate them, rather than yourself. Motivation, that’s a tricky thing some days. There are days where I have it exploding out of me, and others I can’t even find a shot glass full.

Luckily though, I found some and I shoved it in my back pocket. 🙂

So this is to you, the person who reads this, even if its no one but myself, when I need to find some encouraging words in the future…

If you get sidetracked, maybe for the billionth time, it doesn’t matter. The thing that matters most is that you keep going. Don’t worry about what people will think or say about your restarting. The ones who really matter will be there every step of the way; when you fall on your face and when you get right back up. You can do it. Even if it takes you the rest of your life. You can do this. You’re not alone… I’m here!

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